


Dean...what if ?

by sherlock221Bismymuse



Category: Supernatural
Genre: But is waiting for him to realize that, Dean Winchester Loves Sam Winchester, M/M, True Love, Wincest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-25
Updated: 2019-11-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:01:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21559747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sherlock221Bismymuse/pseuds/sherlock221Bismymuse
Summary: Sam asks Dean many questions down the years.
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 71





	Dean...what if ?

**1987**

“Dean…what if …the kids laugh at me in school tomorrow?” Sam asked as he wiggled nervously in Dean’s lap and watched some cartoon on TV. It was the third ‘new’ school in as many months and at the tender age of four he already knew that some kids looked askance at his handed- down clothes and scruffy second hand books.

“If they do then you laugh back.” Dean told him firmly. “Louder than them.”

Sam sighed and burrowed himself even more into Dean’s chest. Sometimes he wished he could wear Dean like a coat of armour. His big brave brother who was afraid of no one and nothing. Not the dark. Not the laughing boys. Not the scary teachers who asked too many questions. 

Dean felt the quivering mass of nervous baby brother in his arms and just squeezed him close and held him tight. He felt a surge of protectiveness and just so much love for this boy who was just the most beautiful thing in the known universe. He knew they didn’t have much but if he could he would have given Sammy everything he could ever dream of.

He ruffled his hair and told him softly. “Hey, if anyone bothers you I will kick their ass, so don’t you worry ok baby brother?”

Sam gave a quick nod. He knew that of course. He was always safe when Dean was around. No one would trouble him.

_Dean would be his shield._

.

.

**1989**

“Dean…. what if monsters are real?” Sam asked, lower lip trembling as he stared at the endless darkness below his bed.

“Don’t worry squirt. I’ll keep you safe.” Dean said with a fond smile as he ruffled Sam’s hair and sat down next to him.

Sam could feel his fear melt away as Dean slipped under the blanket with him and started humming Smoke on the Water for a lullaby.

Same felt himself get drowsy and as he fell asleep he clung on to the wisp of a thought.

_Dean was his safe place._

**1991**

“Dean ….what if Dad never comes back?” Sam asked, tears threatening to fall as he stared out of the window after the dust had settled from Dad’s car taking off.

“Take it easy kiddo. He will be back. And anyway I will always be there for you. Here, eat these Lucky Charms and come, let me read to you.” Dean said, hiding the terror in his own voice.

Sam nodded. He liked Dean best anyway.

Dean always said Dad loved them very much but sometimes Dad was so scary and angry. Also he was always tired. But Dean always spoke to him kindly and held his hand when he knew Sam needed it. Dean made him laugh and helped with his homework.

_If Dad never came back it would be ok actually because Dean would be his Dad._

.

.

**1992**

Sam stared at the dark night after the fireworks on 4th July. He was filled with strange feelings. Joy at what Dean has done for him. Exhilaration at the splendour of those fireworks—a bright spot in their otherwise bleak and difficult lives. Sudden fear of the unknown gripped him out of the blue.

“Dean …what if the world ends?”

Dean just looked at him and shrugged. “As long as we are together …that is all that matters.”

Sam leaned into his side and felt the warmth of Dean envelop him like a warm blanket.

_Dean was the first fire and the first star and Dean would be the light when all became dark._

  
  


**1994**

“Dean…what if Mom was still with us?” Sam asked as they both lay side by side on the same bed and stared at the ceiling of yet another forgettable motel.

“Yeah.” Dean says softly, knowing that on difficult days like this when Dad seemed to recede ever further and it was just the two of them, yet again, on a lonely winter night, Sam liked to be comforted with the idea that maybe….maybe they had an alternate self in some parallel universe who had what they had lost.

So he slipped into the mood and told him “If Mom was still with us Sammy then we would sit with her on this bed. She would have you in her lap. Then she would put one arm around me and smile as she read to us.”

Sam listened with a dreamy look as Dean continued speaking, almost to himself. “And then she would kiss us goodnight and tuck us into bed. When we woke up the next day, she would be there, waiting for us, help us get ready for school. When we got back from school she would feed us freshly baked pie and she would ask what we studied. Maybe we would help her with cooking and then we would all play some board game before we slept.”

They lay in silence for a while.

Sam thought of all those things that Mom would do for that Other Sam. But for him? Dean tucked him in and read to him. Dean was there to help him get ready. Dean walked him home and fed him and asked what he had studied.

_He knew then that Dean was his Mom._

.

.

**1996**

“Dean….what if I don’t wake up one day?” Sam asked as they lay on their beds in the dark, waiting for sleep to overtake them.

“Oh God Sam.” Dean groaned. “Do you ever stop thinking?! Why the _hell_ will you not wake up one day?”

“But Deeean…”Sam whined. “What if I don’t wake up one day?”

Dean shook his head in exasperation. “I don’t know Sammy. I will sell my soul. I will tear this universe apart.”

_Sam knew that Dean would be his saviour._

**2001**

“Dean…what if I become a monster?” Sam asked, not looking at Dean’s face in case he saw something which told him that Dean thought he already was one.

Dean was cleaning a gun and he continued to do it silently till Sam thought maybe he hadn’t heard him.

Just as he was about to get up Dean looked him right in the eyes and said, “Sammy, I got you. No matter what.”

Sam looked at those confident competent hands holding the gun, saw that calm determined look on that beloved face and he knew.

_Dean was his salvation._

.

.

.

**2006**

“Dean …what if this is all there is?” Sam asked in tired voice as they sat there, one more Apocalypse averted. No deeper meaning, No purpose. No legacy.

Dean closed his eyes. He could see their entire life as a series of snapshots. Mom and Dad. The new baby. The fire. The Yellow Eyed Demon. Angels. Lucifer. Hell. Heaven. God. Amara. Death.

And through it all, always, Sam and Dean. Together. Hand in hand. Entwined. Joined. Bonded. Soulmates. 

He opened his eyes and smiled at Sam. “This is more than I could have ever asked for.”

_Dean was his gateway to infinity._

.

.

**2007**

“Dean…… what if this is the end?” Sam thought as he stood at the edge of the Pit and he saw Dean on his knees, battered and bloodied by Lucifer in his vessel and he knows that he wanted to save the world. 

Then Sam jumped into the Pit because Dean was his world.

.

.

**2009**

“Dean…what if we were not brothers?” Sam asked as they lay sprawled on the hood of the Impala, beer bottles in hand, starry skies above.

Dean actually chuckled and shook his head. “Sammy. There is no universe possible where we don’t belong to each other. And if there is, I don't want to exist in it.”

Sam sat quietly and absorbed what had just been said.

Then Sam thought of all the ways that Dean has been telling him something through all these years and he decided to ask just one more question.

.

.

“Dean……what if I kiss you?” Sam said softly and before he could stop himself he leaned over and touched his lips to Dean’s.

When Dean moved in as though he had just been waiting for him for ever, finally Sam knew.

_Dean was his home._


End file.
